I Don't Cook for Christmas

December 2011

Dear Maggie Montclair,


I want to tell you how I solved the shopping and cooking problem that I had at Christmas. With children, grandchildren and great grandchilren, my family had grown to over forty people. We all live in the same area, and I hosted Christmas every year. I also ran myself ragged trying to shop for and wrap all those gifts. Last year I decided that I just couldn't go through it again, so at Thanksgiving I announced that they could each make their own Christmas plans and I would visit them. They each put their names in a hat and the first one drawn was who I saw on Christmas Eve.  I spent Christmas Day with the next name drawn. This year I visited the two that weren't drawn last year.


My gift to the group was on the first Sunday afternoon in January.  I booked a party at a local hotel with an indoor waterpark.  Everyone had a wonderful time. The children and young people enjoyed swimming, and the older folks played cards around the pool. I paid the entrance fees and for all the  food  consumed by my family.

It was about the same cost as our previous celebrations, but I didn't have to do any of the work. I actually got to enjoy myself. My entire family is anxious for this year's party. We are making special, and unusual, Christmas memories.

                                                  The perfect gift for my family 

Dear Perfect gift,

What a wonderful idea!  I hope more readers will let me know how they put less work and more fun into Christmas.  M

P.S.  My friend Gertie's gardener's wife's ex-mother-in-law came up with a solution to buying so many gifts and not even getting a thank you in return. She put the word out to her family that she would only purchase gifts for those family members who sent her flowers during the year. Not flowers for special occasions like Mothers Day or her birthday, but just because they were thinking of her. The first year she bought only two gifts for adults and three gifts for the children of those adults. Now, six years later, she recieves several bouquets every month and happily purchases gifts for twenty two people. Some of her family members have even planted flower gardens and are teaching their young children to pick bouquets for grandma and other loved adults. Everyone is happy with this arrangement.*

First Christmas as a Widow

                                                                                                   December 2011

Dear Maggie Montclair,


It is almost Christmas, and I just can't pull myself together.  This is my first Christmas as a widow, and I never dreamed it would be this hard.  I feel so lonely even with my children and grandchildren around.  They are doing everything they can to help me, but I'm still miserable.  How can I make it through Christmas Day?
                                                                                
                                                    No Santa at my house


Dear No Santa,

My heart goes out to you.  Most widows agree that the first Christmas is the hardest day you will have.  Once it is over and you have survived, your days can only get better.

Just get through this Christmas day and congratulate yourself for not ruining Christmas for those you love. That should be your goal.  Stay in prayer.  No public tears.  No pity-me stuff.

Some pretty smart widows have found a way to enjoy Christmas again.  They have learned the secret of  finding joy.  They make the Christmas Season their own personal giving season.  They start before Thanksgiving by doing whatever they can for others.  They help their church with Thanksgiving baskets and collecting food for the food bank.  They bake for shut-ins.  If they are able, they work at shelters feeding the homeless.  Find ways to help others.  That is the best way to help yourself.  The more that you can do anonymously, the more fun it will be.  M

P.S.  My friend Gerties cousins mother-in-laws neighbor loves to knit.  We all save our leftover yarn for her to make hats, mittens, hot pads and lap robes.  She knits all year to give these away at Christmas.  She lives close to an elementary school and knits several hats and mittens in the school colors which she then gives to the principal to give to children who need them.  She often acts as The Story Lady for the kindergarten class and volunteers to help the little ones with reading and spelling.  She has learned that the more she helps others, the happier she is.*