December 2011
Dear Maggie Montclair,
It is almost Christmas, and I just can't pull myself together. This is my first Christmas as a widow, and I never dreamed it would be this hard. I feel so lonely even with my children and grandchildren around. They are doing everything they can to help me, but I'm still miserable. How can I make it through Christmas Day?
No Santa at my house
Dear No Santa,
My heart goes out to you. Most widows agree that the first Christmas is the hardest day you will have. Once it is over and you have survived, your days can only get better.
Just get through this Christmas day and congratulate yourself for not ruining Christmas for those you love. That should be your goal. Stay in prayer. No public tears. No pity-me stuff.
Some pretty smart widows have found a way to enjoy Christmas again. They have learned the secret of finding joy. They make the Christmas Season their own personal giving season. They start before Thanksgiving by doing whatever they can for others. They help their church with Thanksgiving baskets and collecting food for the food bank. They bake for shut-ins. If they are able, they work at shelters feeding the homeless. Find ways to help others. That is the best way to help yourself. The more that you can do anonymously, the more fun it will be. M
P.S. My friend Gerties cousins mother-in-laws neighbor loves to knit. We all save our leftover yarn for her to make hats, mittens, hot pads and lap robes. She knits all year to give these away at Christmas. She lives close to an elementary school and knits several hats and mittens in the school colors which she then gives to the principal to give to children who need them. She often acts as The Story Lady for the kindergarten class and volunteers to help the little ones with reading and spelling. She has learned that the more she helps others, the happier she is.*
