Dear Maggie Montclair,
  Before I became a widow, I didn't think much about loneliness or money.  With a husband and family, I was never lonely.  Hubby made a good living and took care of the finances.  In a heartbeat, all that changed.  I am fortunate to have enough money, but I have learned all about loneliness.
  Then, I began to receive those e-mails about 'random acts of kindness.'  I tried it a few times, and now I always look for opportunities to do something that I would never even have thought about before.
  Last week I paid the tab for a mother having lunch with her young daughter.  I could see that they had been shoe shopping and were enjoying the morning together.  I overhead her say how they needed to hurry home and get the laundry finished. The little girl reminded her that they also needed to stop at the grocery store.  The young mother checked her watch and commented that the baby sitter had already been at their house for over two hours, but this was her birthday and daddy was in Afghanistan.
  Somehow, doing a 'random act of kindness' makes me feel less lonely.  I urge everyone to try it.
                                                Random Ruthie

Dear Random Ruthie,
  I just love your very clever name!  I too have received those e-mails and enjoy doing 'random acts of kindness.'  It makes me feel that in some small way I am counteracting some of the meanness in the world.
  Sometimes we can't pay a large check, but if we pay attention, we can find opportunities to do something nice for someone for $5 or less.  It is not as much about the money as it is the surprise that a complete stranger will do something nice for you without expecting anything in return.  That makes you want to pass the kindness on.  M

P.S.  My friend, Gertie, is a great movie fan, and when I shared this letter from Random Ruthie, this was her comment.
  "One of my favorite movies is, "The Bucket List."  In one scene Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson are sitting on top of a pyramid.  Freeman is explaining to Nicholson that to get into Egyptian Heaven you have to answer these two questions.
1.  Have you found the joy in your life?
2.  Has your life brought joy to others?
  When you think about those two questions, you realize that they both require action on your part.  Even the smallest 'random act of kindness' brings joy to others.  You bring joy to yourself by keeping those acts a secret, not only from the recipient, but from everyone else you know.  It is a 'secret randon act of kindness' that answers both questions on a positive note."

Maggie is back from her Iowa vacation.  She enjoyed a wonderful family wedding, a cousin's reunion, and traveling with her California cousin, Diane.  She is working hard to catch up on your e-mails.


Dear Maggie Montclair,
 
Last week, I overheard two women talking about me.  One said, "isn't she beautiful?"  The other women agreed.  Now, I know that I am not a beauty.  I never was.  Even when I was slender!  But, at that moment we were at a conference, and I had made a special effort to look nice.
 
 I have been thinking about that compliment and what it did for my morale.  For the next few days, I actually felt beautiful.  My spirits soared.  I decided that women I know and consider good friends should have that exceptional experience.  So, I told a dear friend that she was beautiful.  Not 'looked' beautiful, but 'was' beautiful.  There is an important difference.  Just watch a Housewives Reality Show, and you will understand what I'm talking about.

  My friend denied any claim to beauty.  She said, "Oh, my hair is a mess and I've gained five pounds."  I said, "yes, you are.  Just say "thank you."  We both laughed, she said "thank you," and later, she told me that she felt wonderful the rest of the day.

  I decided that what was really being said was, "you are such a good friend that you are beautiful in the most significant way."  Now I look for opportunities to let my friends know that they are beautiful.  Corny?  Maybe.                  Beautiful in Bedford

Dear Bedford Beauty,

  Aren't you glad you overheard your friends talking?  Maybe that is a good way to let a friend know that you think highly of her.  Say it when she can innocently overhear your comment.  Somehow, women are more likely to believe a compliment when it is overheard rather than directed to them.  In fact, such a compliment would do wonders for a stranger who has worked to put together a social or business meeting that you appreciate.

I'm so glad that you reminded us how to respoond to a compliment.  Just say, "thank you."  Many times it makes your day.  If so, be sure to express that sentiment.  M

P.S.  Gertie loves to tell this story about a compliment that backfired.  Her neighbor's second cousins mother-in-law had an elderly maiden aunt.  One day her neighbor was visiting with the mother-in-law and asked if the maiden aunt had lost a fiance' in World War Two.  The mother-in-law smiled slyly and proceeded to explain:     When the maiden aunt was in high school a young man came-a-calling.  The aunt met him at the screen door and listened as he told her that she was the most beautiful girl in town.  He offered flowers and a box of candy if she would honor him with a walk around the block.........Without hesitation, she opened that screen door, and using all her strength, pushed him right off the porch!  Word must have spread because no young man ever knocked on her door again.