Maggie is back from her Iowa vacation. She enjoyed a wonderful family wedding, a cousin's reunion, and traveling with her California cousin, Diane. She is working hard to catch up on your e-mails.
Dear Maggie Montclair,
Last week, I overheard two women talking about me. One said, "isn't she beautiful?" The other women agreed. Now, I know that I am not a beauty. I never was. Even when I was slender! But, at that moment we were at a conference, and I had made a special effort to look nice.
I have been thinking about that compliment and what it did for my morale. For the next few days, I actually felt beautiful. My spirits soared. I decided that women I know and consider good friends should have that exceptional experience. So, I told a dear friend that she was beautiful. Not 'looked' beautiful, but 'was' beautiful. There is an important difference. Just watch a Housewives Reality Show, and you will understand what I'm talking about.
My friend denied any claim to beauty. She said, "Oh, my hair is a mess and I've gained five pounds." I said, "yes, you are. Just say "thank you." We both laughed, she said "thank you," and later, she told me that she felt wonderful the rest of the day.
I decided that what was really being said was, "you are such a good friend that you are beautiful in the most significant way." Now I look for opportunities to let my friends know that they are beautiful. Corny? Maybe. Beautiful in Bedford
Dear Bedford Beauty,
Aren't you glad you overheard your friends talking? Maybe that is a good way to let a friend know that you think highly of her. Say it when she can innocently overhear your comment. Somehow, women are more likely to believe a compliment when it is overheard rather than directed to them. In fact, such a compliment would do wonders for a stranger who has worked to put together a social or business meeting that you appreciate.
I'm so glad that you reminded us how to respoond to a compliment. Just say, "thank you." Many times it makes your day. If so, be sure to express that sentiment. M
P.S. Gertie loves to tell this story about a compliment that backfired. Her neighbor's second cousins mother-in-law had an elderly maiden aunt. One day her neighbor was visiting with the mother-in-law and asked if the maiden aunt had lost a fiance' in World War Two. The mother-in-law smiled slyly and proceeded to explain: When the maiden aunt was in high school a young man came-a-calling. The aunt met him at the screen door and listened as he told her that she was the most beautiful girl in town. He offered flowers and a box of candy if she would honor him with a walk around the block.........Without hesitation, she opened that screen door, and using all her strength, pushed him right off the porch! Word must have spread because no young man ever knocked on her door again.
