Dear Maggie Montclair,
I am in a situation with my daughter and 15 year old granddaughter, Angie. She has a 17 year old steady boyfriend, and after seeing them together at a family picnic, I think that if they aren't already sexually active, they soon will be.
I talked with my daughter about it and suggested that she explain sex to Angie and be sure she knows how to protect herself against pregnancy and disease.
My daughter reacted by saying, "Mother, she is only 15. Don't rush her. I'll talk to her when she is 17."
Maggie, in two years she will be able to explain the 'facts of life' to her mother. What should I do? Do I dare have a chat with my granddaughter without the consent of her mother?
Bemoanning the Loss of Innocence in S.D.
Dear Loss of Innocence,
Young people are more informed at an earlier age than we were. Or at least they think so. I think you are wise to be concerned about your granddaughter.
You could take her to lunch and in a non-judgmental way, tell her you remember the strong feelings of young love. Ask her if she understands the 'facts' and has protection against pregnancy and disease.
Explain to her that being sexually active will change the relationship with her boyfriend. Going places together often slows down or stops altogether as the relationship hinges on sex. Without criticizing this particular young man, explain that men mature later than women in the relationdship department and while young men often don't have the maturity to handle an actual relationship, they do want sex and even consider it the whole relationship.
Let her know that you will be there for her with information and advice if she asks for it. Reinforce how proud you are of her maturity and her bright future. Knowing she has your unconditional love is another weapon that helps her self-control. M
P.S. Gertie's meter reader's daughter's best friend teaches second grade. She has a store in her classroom that sells paper, pencils and erasers. Eric and Missy are the current storekeepers. At the end of the year, Miss Brown expained how they would take inventory and then store the supplies and money in the cupboard until school started again in the fall.
Eric raised his hand and announced, "Missy and I are getting a divorce. I think we should split the money."
With much sadness, we say goodbye to innocence.
