Dear Maggie Montclair,
I went to a family reunion this summer and saw relatives that I hadn't seen since high school. Two of my favorite aunts, twins aged 89, were visiting and I overheard one say to the other, "Just look around. Hardly any of our girls take good care of themselves."
I couldn't let that pass and asked them what made them come to that conclusion. They explained that it was their opinion that women who valued themselves would eat healthy and maintain a weight in proportion to her height. She would take a few minutes to make herself as attractive as possible and would dress appropriately for her age and the occasion.
I looked around and saw middle aged, overweight women wearing faded t-shirts, ripped jeans, short shorts, no make-up, and hair that needed a good shampoo and style. I was part of that group. Granted, there were a few who were dressed neatly, had attractive hair styles, and pretty nails. They looked as if this reunion was important enough to them that they took care with their appearance. Suddenly, I wished that I had taken time for myself, because I really was excited to be there. I just didn't think that I could do anything to make myself look good. I have felt fat and ugly for a long time.
The aunts weren't criticizing us as much as they were feeling sorry for us. Sorry that we had spent so much of our lives taking care of others that we forgot our own value. Sorry that we had forgotten to take the best possible care of this amazing body that we were born with. Sorry we forgot how important it is to our outlook on life to be our very best.
We spent more time preparing our brownies or potato salad than we spent getting ourselves ready. How does that make sense when the food will be consumed in 20 minutes? Then we have to clean up the mess. All the while, forgetting that we hope to be around for years to come.
Since that Saturday in June, I have spent a few minutes every day just taking care of myself. I want to look like my favorite aunts when I am 89 years old.
Lookin' Better Every Day
Dear Good Lookin',
You have the right idea! I bet you will look fabulous at 95. We women find it hard to pamper ourselves, so maybe we need to think about it as taking care of our investment in ourselves. We don't want to end up in a nursing home. That means we need good health. Good health means taking care of ourselves. We might as well look good, too. It doesn't need to cost more money, just more planning. M
P.S. Gertie's friend's mother's second cousin made a big change in her life. She read that if you wanted to be happier with your life, you were supposed to imagine that you came from another planet and are now inhabiting this body and this life. You are supposed to change it into the 'perfect' life.
She realized her weight was fine. She needed work on posture and style. Finances were tight, so she shopped the thrift stores and learned to accessorize. She checked magazines and found a hairstyle that she liked and could fix. She looked at her family and co-workers through the eyes of a stranger and found she liked most of them. Some, she still couldn't stand, so she avoided them as much as possible, but remained polite and helpful.
Six months later, she was a much happier person and felt more confident at work. Will that work for everyone? I don't know. Is it worth trying? If you want to make some positive changes, it can't hurt.
As they say: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome each time."
