March 10, 2012
Dear Maggie Montclair,
I have two close friends who have had a 'falling out.' Other friends are coming to me and asking what happened. How can I tell them that it is none of their business? They are taking sides and gossiping. Some are just wanting information for gossip, but others are really concerned and would like to help my two friends.
Caught in the middle
Dear Middle,
Friends do disagree with each other, and sometimes they argue, get really mad and end the friendship. That is a part of life that isn't pleasant, but it needs to be accepted. Long time friendships have the best chance of overcoming such a 'blowup.' Keep your distance and let them work it out. Above all, don't discuss the situation with anyone.
M
P.S. My friend Gertie's brother's wife's cousin was in a similar situation. She smiled her sweetest smile and said, "I know you want what is best for both of them. They have been such good friends to you. I'm sure the best thing for us to do is to let them work it out. So, help them by not gossiping."
As sometimes happens, those two ladies never did get back to their old friendship, but because they are ladies, they are civil to each other and everyone else is comfortable with them in the group. Because there was no gossip and taking sides, the group is still enjoying their times together.
Gertie mentioned something that I found interesting. She has discovered that there are some people who, if they are not talking about someone else, can't think of anything to say. I am monitoring my own conversation to make sure that I am not one of those people.
