Dear Maggie Montclair,
I just finished reading your book, and I'm upset with you. I am a widower, and I want you to know that I have just as much pain as any widow. Maybe more. Just getting a meal and doing the laundry is a frustrating challenge for me.
Why didn't you sympathize and give helpful hints to the men who have lost their wives instead of warning widows about us men lurking in the shadows? Most of us are decent men who are just as lonely as the women. We aren't out to get their money or nursing skills. We want friends and fun just as much as the ladies. Maybe even a little romance. What do you have to say to us?
Mad at Maggie in Kansas City
Dear Mad,
I'm sorry you feel slighted. It was totally unintentional. I do sympathize with your pain, but being a woman, I can only make suggestions from my point of view and experience.
However, I will give you the same dating advice. Be careful out there. Many men seem to think that if they just get married again, life will get back to normal. I'm sorry to say that most have lived to rue the day of that second wedding. Men, as well as women, have to go to all the hard work of making a new life for themselves.
M
P.S. When I showed your letter to Gertie, she shared a few thoughts. "First of all, most of the men that I have had the good or bad fortune to know, are not particularly forthcoming with their emotional needs. Somehow, men think that they are less than masculine if they admit to being lonely or in need of help. You seem hesitant to go out to eat, to the movies or any social event unless you are with your brother or another relative. You will go hunting or fishing with a buddy, but not to the movies. Are you being homophobic? Maybe you would have a more active social life if you were more like women in your attitude towards friends."
